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Whenever I finished a row, I told myself, “One of your problems solved”. But then I realized there are still long way to go for a scarf. I knitted and knitted. Then suddenly I missed the path, so the scarf got a hole on it. I took a deep breathe, and start all over again to cover up the hole. And still, after I finished a row, I told myself, “One of your problems solved.”

This is my pain killer. It’s not a drugs, but it’s addictive. Kinda time killer too. It helps me thinking and reflecting. It helps me reduce my pain. Whatever the pain is.

Ssst. This is not my first time for being abandoned and being ignored. But still, it hurts so bad. But now when I think about it, I’m sure I can ignore the pain too. There are so many people out there for me and got their back for me, so what should I cry for? For whom I should stand for? Him? No.

Self-killer,
A.

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